Barbara Johnson

"I'm not trying to 'keep up with the Joneses' here, I'm trying to stop them from killing us! I mean I love Fred, I do, but if he won't wear the pants around here, I'll just have to pull them up over my pantyhose!"

- Barbara Johnson

Barbara Johnson (often referred to as the Housewife) is one of the selectable characters in BioShock 2 Multiplayer. She was the second character to be shown on the Cult of Rapture's Faces of Rapture's Civil War.

"Barbara Johnson is a dutiful housewife and an attentive mother. She arrived in Rapture hoping that the unique and exciting circumstances of life under the sea would dispel the sense of dissatisfaction that plagued her topside. And at first it did. But as the novelty of her new environment wore off, and her household duties again demanded her full attention, she found herself once again beset by the familiar and nagging sense that there must be something more."

Story


Barbara's husband, Fred, forbade her from splicing in front of the children, despite her warnings that the neighbors were trying to kill them. After her daughter, Susie, is nearly attacked by a Big Daddy as she was trying to play with a Little Sister, Barbara goes against her husband's wishes and heads to the store to buy some more "Special Medicine". However, as ADAM became harder to find, Barbara becomes so desperate to acquire some that she lets several strange men claiming they've got ADAM into her apartment. They immediately kidnap Susie, and despite successfully shocking one of the men, another strikes Barbara with a Winter Blast, freezing her as they take her daughter away. However, she knows that they are taking her to the Little Sister Orphanage and states that she will march down there and find her daughter and then the men who kidnapped her.

As Barbara splices more and more, she begins losing her grip on reality, believing the war zone to be her household. For example, she becomes deluded into thinking an enemy Big Daddy is the family dog and that the Little Sister and the Splicers she researches are in fact her own child.

Audio Diaries

 * Keeping Up: Unlocked from the start.
 * Maternal Instincts: Unlocked at Rank 3.
 * Hard to Find: Unlocked at Rank 23.

Quotes
The following is a list of phrases that Barbara Johnson will say during multiplayer games. The name of the source audio file is listed, when known.

Character Selection Screen

 * "There are just way too many parasites in this garden!"
 * "My word. A woman's work is never done!"
 * "Blood never washes out!"
 * "Tell me about your day, dear."
 * "I'm gonna have to do some exterminating in here!"

Attacking a Rosie
(HousewifeBDDmgVox)
 * "Bad dog!"
 * "Down boy!"
 * "I swear, I'll take you straight to the pound!"
 * "Who let the dog inside?!"
 * "No! We cannot keep it!"
 * "Play dead, boy!"
 * "I'll never get your smell out of the rug!"
 * "No pets in my house!"
 * "Lay down!"
 * "Fetch!"
 * "Let's play fetch!"
 * "Stop digging up my tomatoes!"

Killed a Rosie
(HousewifeBDKillVox)
 * "Now you don't have to play dead."
 * "I'll tell the kids you ran away..."
 * "Kids! Come help me bury the dog!"
 * "Well, dogs aren't woman's best friend."
 * "My my, such a struggle!"
 * "Always sad putting a pet down."

Regenerating Health
(HousewifeHealthRegenVox)
 * "Well... guess there IS rest for the wicked!"
 * "Haven't felt this good since I was single!"
 * "Ready or not, here comes mommy!"
 * "Mommy just needed a little rest!"
 * "Mommy just needed her medicine."

Swarmed
(HousewifeBeedVox)
 * "Oh my word, bees!"
 * "Ah, nasty bees!"

Burning
(HousewifeOnFireVox)
 * (screams) "Put it out, put it out!"
 * "Oh my!" (screams)
 * "Hot, hot, HOT!"

Frozen
(HousewifeFrozenVox)
 * (stuttering) "Goodness... g- g-!"
 * (stuttering) "C-c- c- cold!"

Picked up a Little Sister
(HousewifeGrabLSVox)
 * "Upsy-daisy, cutiepie!"
 * "Peekaboo!"
 * "No, no you don't!"
 * "Mommy gotcha!"
 * "Let's go play!"
 * "(gasps) Come help mommy in the kitchen!"

Carrying a Little Sister
(HousewifeCarryLSVox)
 * "This is for your own good!"
 * "There there, don't cry!"
 * "We're almost there!"
 * "Mommy's gonna get you a treat!"
 * "Be still!"
 * "Mommy's playing too!"

Putting Little Sister into a Vent
(HousewifeSaveLSVox)
 * "So proud of you!"
 * "We beat the bogeyman!"
 * "Mommy wins!"

Attacking an Enemy Splicer
(HousewifeSplicerDmgVox)
 * "Blood never washes out!"
 * "I'm going to have to do some exterminating in here!"
 * "My word. A woman's work is never done!"
 * "I love you all equally."
 * "There are way too many parasites in this garden!"
 * "This hurts you more than it hurts me!"
 * "You are all grounded!"
 * "My word! Maggots, mealy bugs, ant worms!!"
 * "I made trufflebums!"
 * "I made funeral pie!"
 * "Tell me about your day, darling."
 * "I said, I'M NOT. IN. THE. MOOD!"
 * "So much weeding to do in here!"
 * "My oh my, these are such nasty weeds!"
 * "I'll tear these weeds out by the roots!"
 * "My word, I'll be killing weeds all week!"
 * "I'm glad I enjoy killing filthy weeds."
 * "You snails and slugs have to go!"
 * "You'll make such wonderful compost!"

Killed an Enemy Splicer
(HousewifeSplicerKillVox)
 * "Huh. My headache's gone."
 * " ' Till death do us part! ...Goodbye, dear."
 * "I suppose I have to clean this up!"
 * "I'll use your body for mulch in the garden."
 * "I'll put the loveliest flowers on your grave."
 * "Goodnight, darling."
 * "Get a good rest now, dear."
 * "Nighty-night!"
 * "No need to wake up dear."
 * "Now I lay you down to sleep."
 * "Play time's over!"
 * "And I had such high hopes for you!"
 * "You let mommy down."
 * "I'm so disappointed in you!"
 * "Mommy's not mad anymore."
 * "I still think you owe me an apology!"
 * "Someone's gonna get hurt!"

Researching an Enemy
(HousewifeResearchVox)
 * "Oh, what a mess you've made of yourself!"
 * "Guess you won't be home for dinner tonight."
 * "Your mother would be so ashamed of you."
 * "Oh, look at you, silly dilly..."
 * "You look absolutely mortified!" (laughs)
 * "Proud of yourself? Hm?"
 * "Well, I hope you learned your lesson!"
 * "Oh, look what these bullies did to you!"
 * "I warned you not to play with bigger kids!"

Behind the Scenes

 * She is also called Mrs. Norman on her texture files, which may hint to a previous name for her character.