User:Willbachbakal/Archive 1

The Cabal


Over the course of editing this wikia, I have noticed that that there is a secret organization within this wikia that controls everything. Or I'm simply insane (more likely).

Nevertheless, I have managed, at great own risk, to uncover this vast conspiracy, and have even pinned down its most prominent members. Ladies and gentlemen, I present you The Cabal:

The Leaders

 * Slinky Assassin Stigma-231: Long thought to be dead, in fact had become the head of a major criminal corporation. Secretly aims to assassinate every other member of the Cabal. Also has a major persecution complex.
 * Specialty: Adminstrative duties, grammar, stabbing people through the neck with a wrist-mounted ADAM needle.
 * Plasmid of Choice: Telekinesis. Because stabbing someone isn't nearly so much fun as actually pulling the victim into your own personal oversized syringe.
 * UPDATE!!!: As a matter of fact, Stigma was the head of the entire organization all along. With a bit of string-pulling (and heavy usage of the Hypnotize plasmid) she managed to stay under the radar... until now.
 * UPDATED UPDATE!!!: Our most revered overlord Stigma hereby declares that she is, and always has been, a Big Sister. We were all just too stupid to notice she was wearing an oversized diving helmet at the time.


 * High Imperatrix Gardimuer: Uncontested leader of the Cabal, rules the wikia with an iron fist and a disturbingly pretty bunny mask.
 * Specialty: Templates, reshaping the Wikia's internal structure, smashing unworthy subordinates' faces in with a lead pipe.
 * Plasmid of Choice: Insect Swarm. The perfect minion: very dangerous, exceptionally hard-working and fits in most jars and storage compartments.


 * Supreme Lawmaker BlueIsSupreme: Silent, impassive yet indescribably brutal, ensures the rules are properly enforced, having made quite a few of them himself. Founded the Cabal, and has a tendency to influence the course of events from the shadows, under the cover of his battle-worn metal helmet.
 * Specialty: Grammar, source verification, drilling through several rebellious editors at once.
 * Plasmid of Choice: Houdini. Now you see me, now you don't. Now you see me, now you don't. Now you see me, now I've stuck a Drill up your ribcage. Now you're dead.

The Outer Circle

 * Icy Lieutenant Freezing Mike: Second in command and ruthless parasite exterminator, is also regularly visited by his muse.
 * Specialty: Businesses, cosmetic edits, freezing his minions in amusing poses.
 * Plasmid of Choice: Winter Blast. How else would he stop his private collection of statues from escaping?
 * UPDATE!!!: Our dear lieutenant has yet to be seen for the past few weeks. It is to be concluded that he is missing, presumed dead (read: brutally murdered). Stigma denies any affiliation to the member's disappearance, and insists that under no circumstances would she attempt to assassinate him. Ever.
 * UPDATE PLUS!: During our dear Lieutenant's absence, all records mentioning his name have been erased. On an entirely unrelated matter, it is now forbidden to mention the name of Freezing Mike ever again.
 * UPDATE DOUBLEPLUS!!!: Did I say Freezing Mike? Because I only said Freezing Mike to demonstrate the fact that it is now absolutely super-duper-forbidden for ever to say Freezing Mike. Don't say Freezing Mike.
 * UPDATE DOUBLEPLUSGOOD!!!: Ever.
 *  BUT WAIT:  As is turns out, our dear lieutenant is not dead after all. In what he calls "the most badly executed murder attempt in history", Freezing Mike was merely stabbed seventy-five times in the back with a meat cleaver, and subsequently got better. Stigma welcomes him back with open arms, and denies any involvement in the crime.


 * Surveillance Master EDlTOR: So devoted is he to the images of the Wikia that he had a camera wired into his eye, he sees all and knows all. And in high resolution.
 * Specialty: High quality images, working on a Mac, putting funny moustaches on the photos of famous people.
 * Plasmid of Choice: Target Dummy. Because the look of the people going "wut?" at the sight of a man dancing in the middle of the seabed is priceless.


 * Junior Perfectionist MegaScience: Young yet surprisingly devious, he performs various edits on the Wikia to keep the quality level in check.
 * Specialty: Spotting the hidden flaw, colorful signatures, running like hell.
 * Plasmid of Choice: Hypnotize. As they say: the enemy of my enemy is my friend. And so is my enemy. And whoever you splat that green goo at.


 * Rabid Enthusiast MeLovGamng: Don't let the childish physique soften you up, he'll bite your leg off as soon as you turn your back on him. Also posts videos.
 * Specialty: Posting videos, keeping a high morality, "accidentally" blowing up heavily populated areas in Rapture.
 * Plasmid of Choice: Incinerate!. He just loves roasting marshmallows in the great city of Rapture (only marshmallows?)!


 * Insane Data Collector Willbachbakal: Moi. Who knew?
 * Specialty: Strategy guides, news updates, staring at you from my invisible hiding spot while smiling evilly.
 * Plasmid of Choice: Incinerate!. For the bright lights. For the pretty colors. For the sound of people running around, screaming in agony.

More information may arise at any moment, so stay put. And remember: they're watching you.