Barbara Johnson diary
I'm not trying to 'keep up with the Joneses' here, I'm trying to stop them from killing us! I mean, I love Fred, I do, but if he won't wear the pants around here, I'll just have to pull them up over my pantyhose!
― Barbara Johnson[src]

Barbara Johnson (often referred to as the Housewife) is one of the selectable characters in BioShock 2 Multiplayer. She was the second character to be shown on the Cult of Rapture's Faces of Rapture's Civil War.

"Barbara Johnson is a dutiful housewife and an attentive mother. She arrived in Rapture hoping that the unique and exciting circumstances of life under the sea would dispel the sense of dissatisfaction that plagued her topside. And at first it did. But as the novelty of her new environment wore off, and her household duties again demanded her full attention, she found herself once again beset by the familiar and nagging sense that there must be something more."


Barbara Icon

Before splicing.

Barbara's husband, Fred, forbade her from splicing in front of the children, despite her warnings that the neighbors were trying to kill them. After her daughter, Susie, is nearly attacked by a Big Daddy as she was trying to play with a Little Sister, Barbara goes against her husband's wishes and heads to the store to buy some more "Special Medicine." However, as ADAM became harder to find, Barbara becomes so desperate to acquire some that she lets several strange men claiming they've got ADAM into her apartment. They immediately kidnap Susie, and despite successfully shocking one of the men, another strikes Barbara with Winter Blast, freezing her as they take her daughter away. However, she knows that they are taking her to the Little Sister's Orphanage and states that she will march down there and find her daughter and then the men who kidnapped her.

As Barbara splices more and more, she begins losing her grip on reality, believing the war zone to be her household. For example, she becomes deluded into thinking an enemy Big Daddy is the family dog (as she remarked before Splicing that the Big Daddies smelled like wet dogs[1]) and that the Little Sister and the Splicers she researches are, in fact, her own child.

Audio DiariesEdit


After splicing.

BioShock 2 MultiplayerEdit


The following is a list of phrases that Barbara Johnson will say during multiplayer games. The name of the source audio file is listed, when known.

Character Selection ScreenEdit

  • "There are just way too many parasites in this garden!"
  • "My word. A woman's work is never done!"
  • "Blood never washes out!"
  • "Tell me about your day, dear."
  • "I'm gonna have to do some exterminating in here!"

Attacking a RosieEdit


  • "Bad dog!"
  • "Down boy!"
  • "I swear, I'll take you straight to the pound!"
  • "Who let the dog inside?!"
  • "No! We cannot keep it!"
  • "Play dead, boy!"
  • "I'll never get your smell out of the rug!"
  • "No pets in my house!"
  • "Lay down!"
  • "Fetch!"
  • "Let's play fetch!"
  • "Stop digging up my tomatoes!"

Killed a RosieEdit


  • "Now you don't have to play dead."
  • "I'll tell the kids you ran away…"
  • "Kids! Come help me bury the dog!"
  • "Well, dogs aren't woman's best friend."
  • "My my, such a struggle!"
  • "Always sad putting a pet down."

Regenerating HealthEdit


  • "Well… guess there IS rest for the wicked!"
  • "Haven't felt this good since I was single!"
  • "Ready or not, here comes mommy!"
  • "Mommy just needed a little rest!"
  • "Mommy just needed her medicine."



  • "Oh my word, bees!"
  • "Ah, nasty bees!"



  • [Screams] "Put it out, put it out!"
  • "Oh my!" [Screams]
  • "Hot, hot, HOT!"



  • [Stuttering] "Goodness… g- g-!"
  • [Stuttering] "C-c- c- cold!"

Picked up a Little SisterEdit


  • "Upsy-daisy, cutiepie!"
  • "Peekaboo!"
  • "No, no you don't!"
  • "Mommy gotcha!"
  • "Let's go play!"
  • [Gasp] "Come help mommy in the kitchen!"

Carrying a Little SisterEdit


  • "This is for your own good!"
  • "There there, don't cry!"
  • "We're almost there!"
  • "Mommy's gonna get you a treat!"
  • "Be still!"
  • "Mommy's playing too!"

Putting Little Sister into a VentEdit


  • "So proud of you!"
  • "We beat the bogeyman!"
  • "Mommy wins!"

Attacking an Enemy SplicerEdit


  • "Blood never washes out!"
  • "I'm going to have to do some exterminating in here!"
  • "My word. A woman's work is never done!"
  • "I love you all equally."
  • "There are way too many parasites in this garden!"
  • "This hurts you more than it hurts me!"
  • "You are all grounded!"
  • "My word! Maggots, mealy bugs, ant worms!"
  • "I made trufflebums!"
  • "I made funeral pie!"
  • "Tell me about your day, darling."
  • "I said, I'M NOT. IN. THE. MOOD!"
  • "So much weeding to do in here!"
  • "My oh my, these are such nasty weeds!"
  • "I'll tear these weeds out by the roots!"
  • "My word, I'll be killing weeds all week!"
  • "I'm glad I enjoy killing filthy weeds."
  • "You snails and slugs have to go!"
  • "You'll make such wonderful compost!"

Killed an Enemy SplicerEdit


  • "Huh. My headache's gone."
  • "Till death do us part!… Goodbye, dear."
  • "I suppose I have to clean this up!"
  • "I'll use your body for mulch in the garden."
  • "I'll put the loveliest flowers on your grave."
  • "Goodnight, darling."
  • "Get a good rest now, dear."
  • "Nighty-night!"
  • "No need to wake up dear."
  • "Now I lay you down to sleep."
  • "Play time's over!"
  • "And I had such high hopes for you!"
  • "You let mommy down."
  • "I'm so disappointed in you!"
  • "Mommy's not mad anymore."
  • "I still think you owe me an apology!"
  • "Someone's gonna get hurt!"

Researching an EnemyEdit


  • "Oh, what a mess you've made of yourself!"
  • "Guess you won't be home for dinner tonight."
  • "Your mother would be so ashamed of you."
  • "Oh, look at you, silly dilly…"
  • "You look absolutely mortified!" [Laughs]
  • "Proud of yourself? Hm?"
  • "Well, I hope you learned your lesson!"
  • "Oh, look what these bullies did to you!"
  • "I warned you not to play with bigger kids!"


Barbara Johnson

Barbara's pre-spliced model.

Before SplicingEdit


Barbara Johnson is the picture of the everyday housewife of the 1950s. Her outfit consists of an hourglass-shaped, blue knee-length shirt dress with a notched collar, a white, polka-dotted pinafore apron, a pair of stockings, and black high heels. Her jewelry is conservative yet elegant and includes a pearl necklace, pearl earrings, and her diamond wedding ring. Her medium-length, dark brown hair is worn up in curls, she has blue/grey eyes, and wears red lipstick. She's grabbed a cast iron frying pan from the kitchen which can be used as her personal melee weapon.

After SplicingEdit

Like most citizens of Rapture, Barbara's appearance has drastically changed due to her addiction to ADAM. The blue dress and apron, once immaculate in appearance, has been torn on several parts and are discolored with minor burn marks and dirt. While fighting Spliced-up citizens in the Home Consumer Rewards Program, she has lost her heels, stockings, earrings, and necklace, but her wedding ring is still intact. Her entire face appears to be swollen, with a large cut and a bruise on her forehead and another scar on right cheek. Her teeth are in terrible condition, and it appears as if her nose has been broken and healed at an odd angle. The hairline on the middle of her head is giving way and she is prematurely balding. A patch of hives can be seen on her left leg.


BioShock 2 Multiplayer Barbara Johnson Quotes

BioShock 2 Multiplayer Barbara Johnson Quotes


Behind the ScenesEdit

  • She is also called Mrs. Norman on her texture files, which may hint to a previous name for her character.
  • In her audio diary Keeping Up, Barbara mentions "Fred really burns me up! Refusing to allow splicing near the kids!" It is unclear if the "kids" (plural) refers to her daughter Susie plus an unnamed sibling or a neighborhood friend.


  1. Barbara Johnson's Audio Diary: Maternal Instincts
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