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Epstein The Swami Machine

Epstein the Swami machine.

Epstein the Swami machines are pessimistic, coin-operated fortune-telling vending machines found in Fort Frolic and the Gift Shop of Ryan Amusements in Rapture. The machine has absolutely no use in the game aside from something to waste a little time and money on, and will generally tell the player negative fortunes.


The following is a list of phrases the Swami may say. The name of the source audio file is listed from streams_99_audio.fsb in BioShock and Bio2_DX_Common_SPC_Stream.fsb in BioShock 2.

(vo_s_99_fn_betonyou - VO_MACH_Fort_BetOnYou)

  • "Let me tell you this: I wouldn't bet on you."

(vo_s_99_fn_betterluck - VO_MACH_Fort_BetterLuck)

  • "So, better luck next time."

(vo_s_99_fn_donesomething - VO_MACH_Fort_DoneSomething)

  • "Eh. Perhaps in a past life you did something terrible to somebody."

(vo_s_99_fn_familyname - VO_MACH_Fort_FamilyName)

  • "Well, I hope you have somebody to carry on your family name."

(vo_s_99_fn_gettingout - VO_MACH_Fort_GettingOut)

  • "So, you think you're getting out of here?"

(vo_s_99_fn_gowell - VO_MACH_Fort_GoWell)

  • "Uh. It won't go well. It won't go well at all."

(vo_s_99_fn_hmmno - VO_MACH_Fort_HmmNo)

  • "Hmmm, no, I don't think so."

(vo_s_99_fn_inyourshoes - VO_MACH_Fort_InYourShoes)

  • "Believe me when I tell you I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

(vo_s_99_fn_overquickly - VO_MACH_Fort_OverQuickly)

  • "Darling, just close your eyes and hope it's over quickly."

(vo_s_99_fn_painless - VO_MACH_Fort_Painless)

  • "Look at the bright side: maybe it'll be quick and painless."


  • "So, uh, you have a plot picked out yet?"


  • "Sweetheart, maybe you should ask somebody else for advice."



BioShock Dialogue - Epstein the Swami

BioShock: Epstein The Swami Dialogue.


  •  Icon xbox Icon pc Icon ps3 Icon mac In BioShock this fortune teller machine costs one Dollar to operate, although oddly, two dollars are taken when it is used, and the machine will function even if the player has no money at all. In BioShock 2 the machine is less devious and only takes one dollar as it says it will.

Behind the Scenes[]

  • Jean-Paul LeBreton, the Level Designer of Farmer's Market, had originally planned to add one of these machines to the level, but forgot to. To "restore his karma", he added one to Ryan Amusements' Gift Shop in BioShock 2.[1]
  • Epstein the Swami is based on an automation called a Zoltar.


  1. Arcadia Demade Developer Commentary